Sunday, 31 July 2011

Express Yourself !!!

"Many times in life I’ve regretted the things I’ve said without thinking. But I’ve never regretted the things I said nearly as much as the words I left unspoken" goes a very famous saying...

Right since my childhood, I've been very expressive. I remember how in every social gathering, I always had a joke to say, a song to sing, an act to perform on and every little chance to make stupid faces… Umm, well.. the last part, I still do… :-P

I remember my dad telling me, "Enjoy your feelings that you have today. Your smiles, your pain, your laughs, your fears, your learning because as you grow older and become more mature you may realize that you are missing the feelings within,  you will cry but less, you would bother about people but less, you will not shed tears like you do now, things will change and so will you"…. And today I realize how true he was…

Perhaps, this is the reason I wanted to start my blog. It’s like a window to peep inside my soul. My blog is for me and not for anyone else, perhaps because some day when I would grow old, through this blog, I would be able to look back in time and re–live these special moments of my life  :-)

At times, I get amazed at my own thinking how a person can feel so many emotions in a single day but may be that’s what makes me feel alive. And I think I know how to strike a right balance between my emotional and realistic self. Each morning I get up with this smile on my face and tell myself that today is going to be an amazing day although it’s not always true. But at least it gives me a wonderful start for the day. Throughout the course of a day, I live through many different emotions. ... My emotions are  an expression of me. Very few people have this ability to express what they feel and I consider myself lucky to be one of those very few. And I am so thankful for this.

When we store up our emotions, or feelings, they strongly crave for expression. Allow yourself to feel. Take pride in your feelings and it might just be the only thing which can actually save you and lift you out from where you are trapped…

So, next time when you feel like getting drenched in the rain, talking to a complete stranger, laughing out like crazy with your friends, shouting after a day full of agonies… Don’t hold back, just do it…

Sunday, 24 July 2011

An encounter with myself !!!

As I began to write this blog, I had no clue what it would lead to, but I kept writing to learn more about myself through the process of writing. With each word that condensed out of my thought process, I believe I came closer to a realization of my self being.

Just like me, there are millions of people around the globe and each one of them is a lead character in their own story. They dream, they wish, they miss some one; they have secrets that no one would ever believe are true. Just like you and me, they are searching for some answers as to “How”, “when” and “why”.  At one moment they might want to meet every single person on this earth and in some moments, they just want to stay away from every being. They are just like you. You can open your heart out to them and you know they will understand. And right now, they’re sitting here reading these words, and I’m writing this for you so that you don’t feel you are just “one” like that.

This post is more for myself today than for the reader. It represents an honest look at what I used to see when I looked into the mirror almost a year back and what I see now. Something happened along the way. I abandoned my personal boundaries. I learned to stand up for myself, and stand on my own. I would not trade this one year with myself for anything in this world because the footprints of my past that I've left behind in this one year has no regrets, for the choices I made helped shape and mould me into the person I am today. Far from what I was and not yet what I am going to be….

For the first time in my entire life, I focused on myself. I gave myself the same love, affection, attention and time that I gave to others. In all honesty, just recently, I took a long, long look in the mirror. It wasn’t just one of those passing glances to check my hair or makeup. I stared into the mirror and locked eyes with the person who reflected back and I was happy with what I saw..

Every single ounce of the woman that I am was tailored by this time. I traveled new places, gathered the courage to go to new destinations all alone, spent an entire day at the beach just in my own company, in a city where no one knew me, performed on stage to let myself be what I am, drove to the roads unknown to me taking me to far off destinations that my heart always wanted to explore, took a leap in my professional life and many more things that made me feel “I am free and Alive”.

I learned that people are different and that’s perfectly fine. I've realized that certain people in my life GENUINELY love me, while there are others about whom I’m still not sure. I’ve had things happen to me that I will take to the grave but each of those things has given me a backbone that’s incredibly strong.

I am a person who recognizes her blessings.. It never mattered how big or small, I know them when I see them. I have also, without a doubt, been grateful for the people who entered my life. Some of those people moved my world and others have become my saving grace.

And today I pray to the God Almighty to place me in the path of such people who may need me (for whatever reason) and to also place people in my path who will bless my spirit.