Sunday, 24 July 2011

An encounter with myself !!!

As I began to write this blog, I had no clue what it would lead to, but I kept writing to learn more about myself through the process of writing. With each word that condensed out of my thought process, I believe I came closer to a realization of my self being.

Just like me, there are millions of people around the globe and each one of them is a lead character in their own story. They dream, they wish, they miss some one; they have secrets that no one would ever believe are true. Just like you and me, they are searching for some answers as to “How”, “when” and “why”.  At one moment they might want to meet every single person on this earth and in some moments, they just want to stay away from every being. They are just like you. You can open your heart out to them and you know they will understand. And right now, they’re sitting here reading these words, and I’m writing this for you so that you don’t feel you are just “one” like that.

This post is more for myself today than for the reader. It represents an honest look at what I used to see when I looked into the mirror almost a year back and what I see now. Something happened along the way. I abandoned my personal boundaries. I learned to stand up for myself, and stand on my own. I would not trade this one year with myself for anything in this world because the footprints of my past that I've left behind in this one year has no regrets, for the choices I made helped shape and mould me into the person I am today. Far from what I was and not yet what I am going to be….

For the first time in my entire life, I focused on myself. I gave myself the same love, affection, attention and time that I gave to others. In all honesty, just recently, I took a long, long look in the mirror. It wasn’t just one of those passing glances to check my hair or makeup. I stared into the mirror and locked eyes with the person who reflected back and I was happy with what I saw..

Every single ounce of the woman that I am was tailored by this time. I traveled new places, gathered the courage to go to new destinations all alone, spent an entire day at the beach just in my own company, in a city where no one knew me, performed on stage to let myself be what I am, drove to the roads unknown to me taking me to far off destinations that my heart always wanted to explore, took a leap in my professional life and many more things that made me feel “I am free and Alive”.

I learned that people are different and that’s perfectly fine. I've realized that certain people in my life GENUINELY love me, while there are others about whom I’m still not sure. I’ve had things happen to me that I will take to the grave but each of those things has given me a backbone that’s incredibly strong.

I am a person who recognizes her blessings.. It never mattered how big or small, I know them when I see them. I have also, without a doubt, been grateful for the people who entered my life. Some of those people moved my world and others have become my saving grace.

And today I pray to the God Almighty to place me in the path of such people who may need me (for whatever reason) and to also place people in my path who will bless my spirit.


  1. Welcome to the writing world, mademoiselle!! and what a start. Loved the post.. only a person as pure and natural can write like that.. it is so difficult for people to be open and vulnerable in front of the entire world...

    keep writing, keep exploring, stay curious.. I'm sure you're gonna find so many beautiful things during this wonderful journey!! and I'm sure I'm gonna see a more beautiful Neha with each passing year! :-)

  2. Well said, Neha! So glad you took the leap to spend a year like that - look what its done for you! Beautiful! I look forward to reading your posts regularly!

  3. Thanks for the motivation Sanil and Saraswati :) Feels good! I will write more for sure :)

  4. Writing surely eases your heart & mind...good going Neha...all the best dost :)